well yes, i know, it has been a while… suppose i could try and analyze that phenomenon and come up with some reasoning to try and satisfy my slight urge to apologize however my instinct labels that as unnecessary. the logic is thus, if any potential routine reader of these words is in fact concerned by my lack of outward contact, curious about what i have been up to or whether i am okay, then they have the option, no the complete and utter freedom to go out of their way to contact me directly and share their love/concern/thoughts/etc… in these dark days we can all use a little love (: Generally I have occupied my time very selfishly (or at least that is the negative light i cast on it at this moment). surely that perception will change as i evolve my time spent in the last few months into something beautiful. however, right now i see the pretty pictures i have painted in my head. the splendid prehensile tails of life extended to me. stories wrap me up, pull me in. words of what the people i love and respect are making of their gifts, moments, children and glory. the sound bites that they, perhaps like me, reuse consciously or not, to regurgitate at the drop of a hat – a silly question from a disconnected relative or another realm saturated with inane discourse, traditions perhaps invented to buy time for inventing better questions, coping a look or some other task safely accomplished while multitasking "uh-huh"s and "yeah"s to the – full circle – sound bites perhaps rehearsed to regurgitate at moments like these. and to perpetuate another cycle… more later.